You expect your friends and most especially your family to know you. Know what you like, know what your dislikes are, know how you feel about eating garden pea's. Its the kind of information that should be easy to answer. But I have learnt this week that there are plenty of instances of people who know you well who don't know you at all.
For example, my flatmates kids. Whenever a birthday or Christmas or Fathers Day comes around I get phone calls from the kids asking if I have any idea what dad would like for said occasion.
Living with somebody should give you a good idea of what a person likes but I have found in this case the kids can reel off a dozen things dad doesn't like but when it comes to what he does like, what he is about they seem to have no clue.
Another case in point is my birthday. I've been invited for dinner with people who have known me for 24 years. On the menu, pasta and no doubt a heavy helping of wine.
I don't eat pasta, In fact I loathe it entirely. For me the texture just doesn't sit right in my mouth. I don't eat tomatoes either. They're squishy.
As for wine unfortunately that's the one area where I shall never grow up. I'm allergic to wine.
They all know this and yet every time I am there I get offered glasses of the stuff.
Is it politeness to keep offering or is it that the "I'm allergic to wine it will make my throat swell up and require a trip to the emergency room" not a clear enough indicator that I don't want the wine? Ever.
After 24 years I'd expect these people to have some clue about me.
So I am facing the prospect of a birthday dinner where I won't be eating because at 40 I really shouldn't have to sit there and eat just because it's in front of me. Apparently it was reiterated that I don't eat pasta but everyone else at the dinner does so that is what is staying on the menu. I can have the Italian vegetable side that is being served with it.
Usually I'd just shrug this off. People make mistakes. But after 24 years?
It makes me feel somewhat invisible.
For example, my flatmates kids. Whenever a birthday or Christmas or Fathers Day comes around I get phone calls from the kids asking if I have any idea what dad would like for said occasion.
Living with somebody should give you a good idea of what a person likes but I have found in this case the kids can reel off a dozen things dad doesn't like but when it comes to what he does like, what he is about they seem to have no clue.
Another case in point is my birthday. I've been invited for dinner with people who have known me for 24 years. On the menu, pasta and no doubt a heavy helping of wine.
I don't eat pasta, In fact I loathe it entirely. For me the texture just doesn't sit right in my mouth. I don't eat tomatoes either. They're squishy.
As for wine unfortunately that's the one area where I shall never grow up. I'm allergic to wine.
They all know this and yet every time I am there I get offered glasses of the stuff.
Is it politeness to keep offering or is it that the "I'm allergic to wine it will make my throat swell up and require a trip to the emergency room" not a clear enough indicator that I don't want the wine? Ever.
After 24 years I'd expect these people to have some clue about me.
So I am facing the prospect of a birthday dinner where I won't be eating because at 40 I really shouldn't have to sit there and eat just because it's in front of me. Apparently it was reiterated that I don't eat pasta but everyone else at the dinner does so that is what is staying on the menu. I can have the Italian vegetable side that is being served with it.
Usually I'd just shrug this off. People make mistakes. But after 24 years?
It makes me feel somewhat invisible.
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