The Last Day Of My Thirties.

Well its here, the very last day that I can say I am a woman in my thirties. 
Tomorrow marks the beginning of a new decade.
Today I met my friend and we went out for lunch. 
I'm not a social butterfly, I'm more of a shut in so this is progress. 
Lunch was wonderful. Not so much for the food which was average to say the least. A roasted root vegetable salad in which every vegetable tasted the same all with a heavy dose of cumin thrown in to make the tongue tingle. I'm trying to stay away from "safe" ordering. Usually I'd order the fish but I really do need to broaden my horizons and so now when I am out to eat I try things I never would have. 
However our meal was eaten Al fresco beside the water on a gorgeous spring day, you can't ask for better than that.
I had forgotten just how pleasurable it can be to sit with someone and talk and laugh and share a meal. 
For years I have been an angry angry girl. Being infertile and unable to do anything about it  meant that I hated life and did everything I could to disassociate from everything and everyone. 
This means I missed a lot of the social aspects of being a woman in her thirties. 

Being a shut in means you never have anyone to judge you. 
It also means you have no mirror except that which you walk past without taking any notice of. 
So you forget how to dress for social situations. 
Twenty years ago I simply slid into my favourite black mini skirt and threw on a top and I was good to go. Ten years ago I wriggled into my favourite jeans and shrugged on a shirt, added some boho accessories and same thing, good to go. 
But now, not only do I not know what to wear I also until quite recently didn't have it in my wardrobe if I did magically find the answer. 

So people watching at lunch becomes more a homework assignment than a way to pass the time.
Sitting directly behind us was a large table of women obviously quite used to being the ladies who lunch. All in their late thirties or older and not a monster stroller insight anywhere. Women who were all wearing the summery type outfit that I have never been able to pull off. Those triangular baby doll type dresses that look like they belong on pre schooler's.
You have to admire someone so comfortable with the shape of their knees at 40 years old.   

I was sitting there in a pair of capri jeans and a black tank and strappy sandals taking it all in. Why did these women all look so put together when I looked half done?
And then I realised, accessories, I was wearing none and they really do complete an outfit. Jewelry, a scarf, a handbag make all the difference.

So the last lesson of my thirties is this - look in the mirror and see what's missing.